My face is beginning to droop and cave in on itself. Oh it’s not like my skin is going to be dragging behind me as I stroll the aisles of the grocery store. Nor is anyone going to mistake me for being the grandmother of my children rather than their mother. But it has begun. And I don’t like it. No matter how much anti-aging cream I use, it is inevitable. Vampirism isn’t REALLY an option no matter how many shows or books there are about it; therefore, I will get old. You will, too.

If you’re not aging, then you’re dead. Those being the choices, I’ll take the former. And since my time is finite, I don’t want to waste it cringing in front of the mirror at the rapid changes in face. Therefore, I need a change of attitude.

So here it is. The new attitude. Wrinkles are a gift of life to be embraced and respected.

That’s probably not a new attitude actually. I know that at some point in someone’s history, the old crone was revered for her wisdom. So when did that go out of style? I demand that we bring that back immediately and as Queen of Laundry, I do feel that I have some authority to make that demand. (I humbly beseech you to use the authority of your own Queenship, whatever it may be, to bring about this important change for the good of all people in all Queendoms, but mainly the Queens. And really, what’s good for the Queen . . . )

Let us all strive for the goal of being old crones. If that was our goal, think of how that would change our lives. We would all go out and revel in all that life has to offer, the good, the bad, the scary, the joyful, so that when our faces are crinkled like practice paper for beginning origami artists, our life experiences will have earned us oodles of wisdom.

With such a goal, who would waste time on wishing for the return of their youth? There was never a more fruitless or unwise wish. Because it’s not coming back no matter how much you wish or how much money, time, or pain you spend on it. Wrinkles are a visual representation of our endurance. They form a facial resumé and we should sport them proudly. Are you with me? I hope you are nodding and jumping out of your chair in excitement because this will be so much easier to tackle as a group.

Oh look! A new indicator of wisdom just showed up. My smile line is getting deeper. Share in my joy!

When the weather warms back up, we can meet at the pool under the umbrella. We’ll peek out from under our broad brimmed hats and UV coated sunglasses at the inexperienced tanned youth in their bikinis. We can watch as they endeavor to hurry up their own wrinkles so they can look like us and we will know that someday those smooth young ones will learn the wisdom of patience. And before we venture away from our shaded umbrella to cool off in the water, we will douse each other in a spray of SPF 45, not because the last thing our skin needs is more sun damage that will lead to more wrinkles, but because our earned wisdom prompts us to take wise action. And we’ll have the wrinkles to prove it.

ANISE RAE